Posted by: Dr. Justin D'Arienzo, Psy.D., ABPP

How Not To F*ck Up Your Life – Holiday Edition (Part 2)

TikTok Psychologist

December 13, 2022

Should we breakup before or after Christmas?

You might’ve made it through Thanksgiving but will you make it through the Christmas season together?!

The majority of break ups happen over the holidays. Psychologically, why is that? 1. It’s a reality check. Does tis person belong with my people and do I belong with their people? 2. It’s a stressful time with all of these financial and emotional demands, and couples either come together or fall apart. 3. It’s a time of reflection. Do the green flags outweigh the red ones? 4. It’s the nudge you need! Do I want to spend the next year with this person? If you’re strongly considering ending your relationship, and you know it’s ending, don’t drag them through the holidays with you. Be BOLD and set them free!

It’s Time!!!

If you’ve been considering a breakup, this is your sign to let them go before the holiday season!!!

Turn Your Cheek

The holidays are approaching fast & you need to be prepared for whatever is thrown at you!!!

Are you scared that you may have to mouth kiss a family member over the holidays? It’s not uncommon for parents to kiss young children on the mouth. Bust as those children get older, sometimes it can get a little weird. Some people feel uncomfortable with it and some people don’t. If you don’t, you don’t. But for those of you that are dating somebody who has a family with mouth kissers and you’re uncomfortable, it’s ok to turn your cheek when they approach you and they will get the message.

Oh no, they’re mouth kissers!

Remember – it’s okay to put boundaries up with you or your partner’s relatives!!!

Social Anxiety During the Holidays

It might feel weird at first but be bold & give it a try!!! If you’re still feeling anxious about the upcoming holiday events, buy a “talk to me” shirt … you’ll never have to initiate a conversation again!!! 

The worst thing about social anxiety is what we call anticipatory anxiety and there’s a lot of it over the holidays. None of us should experience that obsessiveness, dread, and worry about social events. “I don’t know what to say!” “I don’t want to be judged!” So what do we do about it? This is where a technique called ‘third-person self talk’ can be used. Most of us use ‘I’ to try and boost ourselves back up, but you know what works better, is talking to yourself in third-person. For example: Justin, you’re going to do a great job. But if I say ‘I got this’, it actually creates a fear response. Talking in third person creates what we call a ‘challenge response’ which is what works best. If you’re still nervous and this hasn’t helped you, grab on of these t-shirts, and they will be sure to come to you.

That’s My Cue to Leave

I know social anxiety can feel unbearable at times but there are techniques … and t-shirts … you can use to help!!!

Follow me on Tiktok @dr.justindarienzo for daily relationship & mental health advice.