Posted by: Dr. Justin D'Arienzo, Psy.D., ABPP

Online Marriage Counseling. Can You Change Your Partner?

Most people know they cannot change their partner. However, people still spend a great deal of effort trying to change the other. Instead, we recommend that couples focus on themselves individually. We challenge them to be the best partner they can be. As a result of being your best self, you force the other person to change or adjust their behavior. In summary, you only have control of yourself, and be the best person you can be for your partner. To be clear, this is the best way to help your partner be their best selves.

What is a Common Problem Couples Face in Marital Relationships? The Extroversion-Introversion Dilemma.

Infidelity, addiction, and communication problems get so much media attention as being the most common of problems. However, one of the greatest challenges is when one partner is very extroverted and the is very introverted. Extroverts love being around others in addition to their partner. They want to go to party events, dinner parties, and to the club. While the other partner, the introvert, wants to spend their down time with their partner or alone. The introvert prefers a walk on the beach, watching television, or reading a book with or without their partner. When this dyad is greatly polarized, real problems can surface.

Why Did I Not See This Problem at the Beginning of Our Relationship?

During the honeymoon phase of a relationship, we are energized by our deep connection and infatuation. Introverts feel empowered and become somewhat extroverted as they feed off the energy of the relationship. On the other side, the extrovert is energized specifically by the other person. Instead of being driven to be around lots of people, the other partner feeds them rather than the other people. Some differences are noticed. However, the cascade of love neurochemicals blinds us fully of the differences. As a result, we rationalize that the introvert grounds us or that the extrovert is good for us. We view them as encouraging us to connect with others. As the relationship develops, problems mount if these personality traits significantly polarize.

Online Marriage Counseling and Online Relationship Counseling Options

Firstly, if you and your partner are in the beginning phases of your relationship and you realize your personalities on the extroversion and introversion scale are vastly different and this issue causes tension for the two of you, you want to see a professional or take a marriage tune up course. Secondly, if you are in the premarital stages and this is an issue, you need to get help. You should participate in online premarital counseling. Thirdly, if you are marring in Florida, Texas, Georgia, Tennessee, or Oklahoma, we will help you with this issue and others. Additionally, we help you save money on your marriage license by taking one of our premarital courses. We are approved in all the states below for a marriage license discount.